Divorced woman refuses to let her 2 ex-stepchildren stay at her house when her biological daughter does, her ex-husband insists despite the children's rejection of her as a mother figure years ago: ‘[The children] told me I was cruel’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Oct 10, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

When a family separates, how do you reconcile with a new normal? How amicable were the divorce proceedings? Do you have children together? Now ex-stepchildren? Typically, a court helps the two adults flesh out the details, and that's enough. However, many adults who ultimately become single parents of multiple children might find it unfair that their ex-partner has fewer children under their custody, and might try to pull a fast one on the ex-partner. The ex-husband in this next story tries to dump his two daughters on his ex-wife, who only has joint custody of their biological daughter. Why should the ex-wife be beholden to taking care of her ex-stepchildren, especially when they didn't want her as a mother when the two parents were together?

Commenters speculate that the ex-husband is trying to get back on the dating wagon or has done so already, because he insists that his two daughters stay the night at his ex-wife's house when she has their biological daughter at her home. When the ex-wife concedes and settles for a compromise during the day instead of an overnight stay, her ex-husband wants nothing to do with it. If his daughters truly wanted to hang out with their ex-stepmom, their father would have agreed to this compromise, no? Scroll below to continue the story.

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  • two young girls stand with their bags ready to be picked up by their ex stepmother
    via STONES and BONES for Unsplash

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • "Aitah for not letting my ex stepkids stay at my house?"

    I'm 34f and my ex husband is 40m he has 2 daughters 13f and 10f. For some context ive know them for 6 years and their mom is de_d.
    via One-Government-4601
  • My ex-husband and I are finishing up our divorce process so, we have our own custody arrangements.
    via One-Government-4601
  • With our custody arrangement, we do every other week, but since our daughter is only 3 we let her go by whoever she asks for usually, as she's confused and doesn't really understand.
    via One-Government-4601
  • Last Friday he dropped my daughter off at my house and said he wanted to ask me a question.
    via One-Government-4601
  • He told me that his daughters wanted to go to my house like my daughter does.
    via One-Government-4601
  • I told him no and that if they need something they can call or text and if it's really important schedule a meeting but other than that no.
    via One-Government-4601
  • He asked why and I told him that as they have said I'm not their mom, I have a schedule that revolves around my daughter and not his kids, and that I'm not taking care of 3 kids alone every other week.
    via One-Government-4601
  • a young father taking care of his two daughters, without the mother in the picture
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I'm assuming he told his family and his daughter's family and they have been calling and texted me and told me I was cruel and that just because me and their dad didn't work out doesn't mean I cant take care of them or be around them and stuff.
    via One-Government-4601
  • I told them that I offered to do a day out a month with them and they could have from 9am to maybe 6pm on weekend, and they hung up on me because I wouldn't let them stay the night.
    via One-Government-4601
  • My daughter ended up coming back to me on Wednesday as she was sick and kept crying for me so I went to go pick her up.
    via One-Government-4601
  • His daughters were there with their bags packed and begged to go with me until Sunday.
    via One-Government-4601
  • I told them no as l wasn't going to take them school and make all those stops in the morning.
    via One-Government-4601
  • They got upset and started crying asking why I was being so mean to them and that their families were right about me and stuff.
    via One-Government-4601
  • I told them that they have told me many times I'm not their mother and a whole bunch of other mean and hurtful things, so I'm not about to make my life harder to make them happy.
    via One-Government-4601
  • My mom thinks I'm right, and says that even if I did keep them she wouldn't watch them as they have been disrespectful to her multiple times.
    via One-Government-4601
  • So aitah? Sorry for the mistakes I was trying to get everything in I will work on fixing those
    via One-Government-4601
  • Embarrassed_Hat_2904 I'm betting dad is getting in their heads about this so he can have some free time. Cuz it's weird that they want to see you so bad but don't want to spend the day with you if they can't spend the night too? Sounds like dad is mad you get free time when he has all three kids and he doesn't!
    via Embarrassed_Hat_2904
  • PassComprehensive425 Your ex has started dating again and he wants to save on the babysitting. You're the most convenient solution. Now that dad is dating, the girls see how good they had with you. Other siblings and other moms who aren't nearly as nice as you are in the picture.
    via PassComprehensive425
  • Your ex and his family maybe in the girls ears about spending time with you, but there's more to the story. Unfortunately, for the girls the time for you to have bonded with them has long since sailed. They're going to need to turn other female relatives for support.
    via PassComprehensive425
  • Visual-Lobster6625 NTA - it sounds like your ex-husband is just jealous that you get a "week off" from parenting every two weeks, so he's pushing for his daughters to stay at your place.
    via Visual-Lobster6625
  • Ibrahimatefgh Exactly, he's just salty he doesn't get a break like you do! Enjoy that time off, you deserve it.
    via Ibrahimatefgh
  • Falls OffCliffs12 I'd be willing to bet the disrespectful treatment of OP by her stepchildren and her husband's unwillingness to step up is a big part of the divorce.
    via FallsOffCliffs12
  • TheWacoFogey NTA. If the two girls had accepted you as their mom, YWBTA. But if they never accepted you and actively disrespected you and your family, then that would be toxic for everyone, including themselves. I'd bet that your ex is pushing them to do this to punish you, have free time, or both.
    via TheWacoFogey
  • I feel bad for them, but there's another point to consider. Now that you are divorced, you have no custodial rights or authority, so accepting that arrangement may expose you to some legal liabilities too. Distance is really the only choice.
    via TheWacoFogey

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family dynamics family drama entitled parents entitlement stepchild wife reddit story family feud parenting husband entitled family reddit thread daughter parent Reddit Parenting Fail parents children entitled people Parenting FAILS
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